1. |
To Fly (curtal sonnet)
01:18
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To fly - curtal sonnet
In memories of childhood I can fly
Down lanes and beaches, forging my own path.
Let loose upon the world with open heart
And still that well of wonder isn’t dry
I live in magic this enchanted hearth
And I can’t tell you when I felt it start
But gradually the world seemed to constrict
I couldn’t stop it not with all my craft
Till colour light and magic all depart
This bleakness that my brain can’t contradict
Apart.
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2. |
Failure (lai)
01:50
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Failure - Lai
Sitting in my chair
On my derrière
I ache
Painfully aware
Others would forbear
Mistake
Colleagues unaware
Life in disrepair
I’m fake
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3. |
Make me Wait (triolet)
02:20
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Make me Wait - triolet
I wish you wouldn't make me wait
My thoughts churn ever faster
Oh please, do not suspend my fate,
I wish you wouldn't make me wait
And leave me to anticipate
A triumph or disaster
I wish you wouldn't make me wait
My thoughts churn ever faster
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4. |
Time (rispetto)
01:25
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Time - Rispetto
Time marches onwards, but it’s not consistent.
The hours in a work day are horribly long.
Eternally dragging their feet, rush-resistant
You thought it was lunchtime? Well sorry, you’re wrong.
And then in the evening and weekend it flies,
I can’t keep up, it knows I don’t exercise.
It speeds and it speeds till there’s no time for fun
Until what do you know? A new workday’s begun.
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5. |
In my Room (rondine)
01:41
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In my room - Rondine
In my room I’m avoiding everyone
It’s bad enough that I know I exist
I think of all the things that I’ve dismissed
I don’t think that I’m capable of fun
So here I’ll sit not seeing anyone
I can’t imagine that I will be missed
In my room
I haven’t any power to resist
This bleakness, strength and energy is done
It’s only second hand I see the sun
My tears rain, even when I’m being kissed
In my room
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6. |
Fear (villanelle)
02:09
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Fear - Villanelle
The morning I awoke in fear
A sweaty tangle in the sheets
How could I know that I was here?
A chilling whisper in my ear
A stabbing pain, a burning heat
The morning I awoke in fear
Asleep or wake was still unclear
My journey out was incomplete
How could I know that I was here?
And as the pain hit, so severe
I felt my natural thoughts retreat
The morning I awoke in fear
An unfamiliar atmosphere
My grunts and tears were not discreet
How could I know that I was here?
That terror was not insincere
The nightmare’s end was bittersweet
The morning I awoke in fear
How could I know that I was here?
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7. |
Frustration (cinquain)
01:17
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Frustration - cinquain
Fuck it, I’m not moving
Fuck this fucking body
Suck to death of being perceived
It hurts
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8. |
Adoration (limerick)
01:02
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Adoration - Limerick
My love, he was lying there snoring
I thought, shit, have I become boring?
Took a sip of my wine,
Shrugged, thought, oh well, that’s fine
I am not fun, but I’m still adoring
My love, he’s a role playing nerd
And sometimes I think it’s absurd
But when I see him grin
As a new game begins
The loving in my heart is stirred
My love loves me too this I know
And the thought of it brings me aglow
He’s sweet and he’s kind
When I’m stuck in my mind
I’m lucky to have such a beau
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9. |
Rest (awdl gywydd)
01:27
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Rest - Awdl Gywydd
Without him, I would have died
Never tried, at least not yet
Just to rest my tired eyes
Dare I exercise this threat
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10. |
Messy Daffodil (ballad)
02:12
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Messy Daffodil - ballad
Our love’s a messy daffodil,
It’s delicate and sweet.
It shouts its gaudy yellowness
It’s always indiscreet.
Our love’s a messy daffodil,
An early sign of spring.
It started with a single shoot,
Was ‘just a casual fling’.
And like a messy daffodil,
With slightly ragged petals,
Our love stands proudly, strong of root.
It will not be unsettled.
Our shoots defy the winter,
Our blossom calls the sun.
Our life together has been long,
And yet it’s just begun.
I love our messy daffodil,
I shan’t deny its power.
Come bask together in its warmth,
This soft and fragrant flower.
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11. |
Cry More (kyrielle)
01:32
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Cry more - Kyrielle
You say it’s hard for white, cis men
And you’ve been trying quite a bit
You’re only racist now and then
I really couldn’t give a shit
Now see that great comedienne
With all her charismatic wit
You say she’ll never make you grin
I’m sure she doesn’t give a shit
And now you’re complaining once again
Because you don’t know when to quit
Keep crying in your big playpen
Cause no-one else can give a shit
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12. |
Pain (sestina)
02:30
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Pain - Sestina
Speaking of pain, it feels everlasting
Like a sad God sitting on a mountain
Grating tendrils, snaking through the body
At every juncture stabbing and squeezing
Until every movement brings new protest
And all solutions are temporary
Sleep is elusive and temporary
Longing for silent rest, everlasting
surfacing with every screaming protest
Blearily ascending that damn mountain
Joints and nerves tender from muscles squeezing
The horrifying truth, this is my body.
And yet, the damage down to this body
Is ignorant, and not temporary
Like grasping a delicate hand, squeezing,
Unaware trauma is everlasting
Preventing the scaling of the mountain
Unheeding of this too feeble protest
What use is a bloody protest
It makes no difference to mind or body.
Screams aren’t audible stop the mountain
Everyone knows pain is temporary
Chiding insistence, ‘it’s everlasting’
It’s just hysteria, nothing’s squeezing
I told you, it’s invisible squeezing
Why does no one listen to my protest
Interminable and everlasting
Dismissal - I know my fucking body
It’s your opinion that’s temporary
Deny all you want, there’s still a mountain
The view from the summit, up the mountain
Shows the reality, time is squeezing
Sighting of victory! Temporary
Sinking down again, too tired for protest.
Wearily heave this burdensome body
To then dream of a rest everlasting
Down this so-called temporary ephemeral mountain
It remains everlasting, constricting, stabbing and squeezing.
With barely a protest, the prickling chill paralyses the body.
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13. |
Free (nonet)
01:17
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Free - Nonet
This pain I’m in is terrifying,
Will I ever be comfortable?
I know I can affect it
So why is that so hard?
I do want to move
I want to dance
Gracefully,
Wildly,
Free.
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14. |
On Repeat (rondel)
02:09
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On Repeat - Rondel
It seems my life is on repeat
An everlasting, tired refrain
I sit, I stand, I wince in pain
And pray, someday, I’ll change this beat
But why’s it such a lofty feat?
And why are all my hopes in vain?
I try to flip the next repeat
But once again, the same refrain
I might one day accept defeat
Be still, and watch it play again
For now I try, I stretch, I strain,
I reach, I grab, I bloody yeet
This dull monotonous repeat
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15. |
See the Dawn (sonnet)
03:39
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See The Dawn - Sonnet
I sit in no-man’s land, I cannot move
My body tense my thoughts still run amok
I wish for forward motion, but I’m stuck
I see myself, detached as if removed
This fear of failure cannot be disproved
My inner shame, that I’m afraid I suck
I almost wish I didn’t give a fuck
Not wounded by each minimal reprove
But here I sit, a lazy, pouting child
Who cries and whinges that they can’t go on
Who longs to be expansive, loud, and wild
And wishes that these binding chains were gone
The blank sheet of my life is this defiled
And all I pray is that I see the dawn
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16. |
Hygiene (ottove rima)
02:56
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Hygiene - Ottova rima
I didn’t want to have a bath today
I couldn't face the thought of all that work
And no one will be near me anyway
To tell me that if I smell like some old jerk
And hygiene’s overrated I would say
And liking being filthy? Just a quirk
So please forgive me if I pong
I just don’t think that smelling bad is wrong.
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17. |
Conform (clogyrnach)
00:55
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Conform - Clogyrnach
Being alive is fucking hard
Existence hurts, my soul is scarred
And yet I perform
And I won’t conform
Can’t transform
Just discard
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18. |
Hope (bref double)
02:29
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Hope - Bref Double
I’d like to speak today of hope
And how to see the road ahead
To lift your gaze and trust in fate
And show your face to different friends
When yesterday you couldn’t cope
When eyes they wept and soul it bled
You couldn’t see but past an inch
Found no beginnings only ends
But if you keep on looking out
And reaching out through time’s divide
You’ll find some laughter bubbles up
And gleaming golden light extends
Cause life’s a weird kaleidoscope
And best enjoyed before you’re dead.
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19. |
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Alive in The Sun - Roundel
Alive in the sun, I relish the day
A lightness of touch, then it won’t be undone
My thanks to the Gods I fervently Pray
Alive in the sun
These shafts of warm light from liquid gold spun
A force field keeping the black dog at bay
Today I am sure, Yes! I am the one.
This fragile spark wasn’t there yesterday
I feel the tide change, it has begun
A voyage, sailing away from the grey
Alive in the sun
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20. |
Rainstorm (haiku)
02:03
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Rainstorm - haiku
This constant spillage
Wind grazing my bare shoulder
Will the gutters hold?
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The Den Bristol, UK
The Den are a couple of dirty hippies who like to mess about with music.
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